Slut shaming, and such.

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Nintendawg
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Nintendawg »

So many text walls, anyhow

We learn this as children. It's never ok to call people names, nor make them feel bad. There are many parents who raise children in different ways, so they learn different ways to dress/act. Some girls more sexually revealing than others. But a woman's body is her own, and may only be handled by those she gives verbal permission to. And boys grow up with different views on boundarys. How close they can get to a girl. But this should be the same for every girl, and should not change because of how they dress/act.
if a girl dresses sexually, a boy will more likely act sexually towards her because he thinks there is a better chance she will be ok with it/like it. This is true for some times, but not for others. Maybe she just likes that attire. But guys, why take the chance and go for sexual actions that have a good chance of crossing-over-her line? A girl needs to be aware of the consequences of her attire, and can only expect so much good behavior from a whole group of guys. And a boy needs to think before he acts, and remember the priniciples of respect. Both sides are guilty.

As for sex partners...well I myself strongly believe in only having 1. Sex is that very special next level of intimacy for people in a relationship. For others (mainly boys) it's just the best way of physical pleasure. Simply giving your body away to multiple people just seems, very morally wrong. As it shows sex means nothing special to you, and that you'd probably have trouble staying faithful to any single partner, if you aren't cheating on your spouse with multiple sex partners already.

As to way genders act differently about the number of sex partners. Well
Male with multiple sex partners: Cool ass pimp *thumbs up*
Female with multiple sex partners: Nasty dirty slut *thumbs down*
Just another dumb gender thing. Maybe because physically, sex is to reproduce. A man can have sex with 10 women, and impregnate all 10. Thus creating many offspring. But a woman can have sex with 10 men, and will only be impregnated by the first one, meaning the others didn't help. All that sex for only 1 child (more in case of twins/triplets/ect.). Maybe that weird survival of the human race thing is the reason we think like that. But morally both genders imo should be frowned upon for having sex with multiple partners and not keeping it to themselves. It increases chances of disease, makes drama, creates emotional baggage, and makes the male feel physically possesive of the female. Sex should be like romantic kissing, only do it with your special someone.
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Triert »

^ This, for as much as it might seem oppressive or not there are still many people who hold virginity and their partners precious to themselves. Is it right to demonize such an idea? I suppose Nintendawg see's this as a matter of population, which really isn't a problem anymore besides how overpopulated we are.

I'd also like to mention that men who are virgins are treated just as badly as women who have multiple partners. However, it is also nobodys fault but ours but something that is normally never addressed in these conversations.
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Nintendawg »

^I understand that populaton isn't an issue. I just think the want/need/whatever to reproduce is why men are seemingly applauded for having sex with many, or frowned upon for having no sex. And opposite for women since they can only be impregnatedby one guy at a time. The animal instinct in people.
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Lamby »

@Triert: This is true, but in a conversation about women, it is a straw man and that is why it is never addressed, because the two aren't mutually exclusive and it doesn't diminish the importance of an issue more prevalent and it doesn't refute the argument; it is simply a separate argument. One is discrimination as it has apparent societal consequences, while the other mostly amounts to bullying long-term, which is still an issue but warrants a different topic. Addressing your first question though, I'm okay with people thinking virginity is important, but when it becomes justification for cruelty, then it's a problem. Fortunately no one in this thread is using their belief to justify mistreating women.

@Nintendawg: I hear you Nintendawg, and I applaud you for trying to be fair, but the only reason there are consequences when women dress more exuberantly is because society perpetuates the idea women should take any amount of responsibility for how men behave. Women are aware they will draw brief looks and silent attention, but her power over a man's choices end there. I don't expect a man to have to suppress his sexuality, but I do expect restraint from speaking or acting on it without permission, and I don't believe women should have to expect anything less. I am sure young men will make mistakes, but they should make it right, regardless of how clothing affects them. I'm sure you agree with this, but I think you're thinking the argument is that men shouldn't feel anything or be interested when the argument is that more men should keep that interest/opinion of how they dress to themselves and not act on it.
Nintendawg wrote:Simply giving your body away to multiple people just seems, very morally wrong.
I know this is somewhat a religious view, and I would never dismiss that because you're a nice guy and it is a noble thing to believe, but I think you're missing a bigger picture at the same time. For some people, sex really is just an intimate experience between two or more people. Multiple partners is only morally wrong when you've agreed on a monogamous relationship with someone else. Morality is purely a contextual philosophy, meaning that when the social criteria changes, so does morality. If the people you're engaged with aren't interested in monogamy, it is likely the parties don't perceive sex as the ultimate expression of love, or if they do, don't restrict that to one person, meaning there will be no negative consequences or baggage. I think that when you betray a monogamous relationship you've agreed to or aren't honest about their multiple partners to everyone they're involved with, that is when a line has been crossed. Which I know was your point, I'm just explaining the negatives of betraying a monogamous relationship only apply to a monogamous relationship.

Also, multiple partners doesn't make diseases more likely. What makes disease more likely is a lack of sexual education and being aware of your partner's/s' health, and this is a constant for a relationship with one person or several.
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Linds 269 »

Goodness, since when did moral standings become subjective? They used to be strong standing and firm! People have made it completely subjective, however. Is it right to slap someone out of no where? No. But what if I personally, hypothetically speaking, thought it was okay? Well by today's logic, that's okay! I can do what I want! If I think that's right and okay, then it's right and okay. Who's to judge?

Also, I believe relationships should be between two people. Insult me, disregard my post, whatever. It's just what I believe. And to have more a relationship with more than one person is to say "I love you, but."
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Jeffery Mewtamer »

Speaking purely from a biological standpoint, it is to a human male's advantage to inseminate as many females as possible to maximize number of offspring, whereas multiple partners only increases a female's likelihood of finding a fertile male. For this reason, I am of the belief that polygyny is actually the most natural mating structure for humans, and, if I am not mistaken, most human civilizations that have existed thoughout recorded history favor polygynic social structures. That said, while monogamy strikes me as unnatural, I do not believe unnatural things to be inherently wrong.

That said, I am in a monogamous relationship by chance, not choice, as there is only a single person with whom I have built such a strong bond with. Of course, being a man not interested in causal sex and believing in being faithful, the only way I would take another partner is if both my existing partner and the new one were willing to share.

More to the original threead, part of the problem is that anything related to sex is a subject that many feel uncomfortable speaking of with their peers, much less youths who are still young enough to learn what they need to know before hormones and instinct take over.

@Linds: When in the long recorded history of mankind has any civilization uninamously agreed on what is moral? Hell, humans have fought wars over what are ultimately fairly minor disagreements in morality, and depending who you ask, continue to do so. If morality was such a cut and dry subject, I doubt we would even be bringing up issues of morality in this topic.

Also, it just a fact of life, but for many people, sex has nothing to do with love, and even among those who associate sex with romantic love, I do not believe for a second that love is some limited quantity such that having multiple lovers is an impossibility.
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Linds 269 »

Jeffery, man has never agreed. That doesn't mean there aren't absolutes.
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Jack Augustine »

Mana wrote:I think what's appropriate to wear in public or in other places should be equal for both genders. If it's appropriate for a man to jog down the road without a shirt on, the same should be for a woman and I do mean braless if she wishes to be. If a lady likes to show some of her skin off, that shouldn't be seen as a problem and she shouldn't be shamed for it.
While I do agree, breasts are one of womens' sexual characteristics. Aside from the one... down there.

But really, shaming isn't cool. Regardless of what the hell is going on down there.

That should really be kept private; who wants to hear about that?
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Aruesso »

SPOILERS: SEX ISN'T ALL THAT SUPER SPECIAL AND ANYONE WHO KNOWS ME SHOULD ALSO KNOW I AM SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE
AS WELL AS HAVING MULTIPLE PARTNERS IN A RELATIONSHIP IT CAN WORK SINCE THE IDEA OF POLYAMORY IS ALL MEMBERS INVOLVED ARE AWARE AND HAVE GIVEN CONSENT

really all i have to say is just be safe goddamnit
also bras actually are kind of important because yo running with tits flying around actually kind of really hurts
obviously going to school in just a bra and thong is dangerous but that's like a silly extreme thing to imagine
since the littlest i have seen women actually wear are like a tanktop and short-shorts and yeah it might get some glances from other peeps with uncontrolled hormones, but even with a boner, people still need to at least learn to not make up excuses for sexual harassers. "boys being boys" doesn't cut it and is literally the lamest excuse to make up for your child lack of BASIC AND IMPORTANT AND SHOULD BE EASY TO ACCESS SEX EDUCATION

god whatever why did i even bother to post here
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Prince Ricard »

@Nintendawg: If that's your opinion, then I respect that. But the important thing is, others will disagree, and people need to respect their beliefs and opinions too.

@Linds: A slap in the face is a bad example, as I'm pretty sure that can be considered assault and would be punishable by law. I doubt anyone would actually press charges, but w/e. Also, this is a matter of hurting another person. That's never okay if there was no reason.
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Linds 269 »

I think it's a fine example actually. Because if morals are so subjective, then then making it an absolute law makes no sense.
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Lamby »

Well that is precisely what a law is--a moral decision that people collectively choose to be absolute for the time being. As morals shift or prove to restrict civil rights or liberties, laws change. You assume that because morals are not 100% consistent in all aspects of life; that they cannot legitimately be used to incriminate someone; but this isn't true, because morals we agree on become laws, and there is no disputing them until our morals change and we change those laws. So you see, for freedom and (representative) democracy to thrive, morals must be subjective, because if they weren't, our entire political system would be undermined. That said, I think you're perfectly in your right to base your respect of someone else on your personal morals, but when it becomes vocalized, that is when damage is done, and I don't think you're going around insulting people, but others have no couth. Nintendawg said that multiple partners results in emotional pain, and it does in monogamous relationships, but my point was that in a relationship with multiple people that have agreed to it, this risk is nonexistent, therefore you can't apply the negatives of one relationship morality to another. I didn't mean you could just be with anyone without talking to or caring about your partners or being a homewrecker. If it looked like I was patronizing your beliefs or completely justifying reckless behavior, I emphatically apologize.

But if I still haven't convinced you, we'll just politely agree to disagree, haha. As to not get away from the topic.
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Linds 269 »

For the sake of getting back on topic, we'll agree to disagree. I don't feel attacked or anything, so don't worry. I won't be convinced, however.
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Snowy »

@Nintendawg, I agree with your statement, In PR, some girl didn't even wear underwear and she was a wearing skirt that didn't cover her (This has been censored.) and a boy raped her. Both of them were suspended. I know it sounds fake, but it isn't. Ps. they were High School students.
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Cathy »

whatever your gender is, as long as you aren't hurting anyone (cheating, sexual harassment, that kinda thing) your sex life is your personal business and no one else should care about that

there's this guy i know who keeps saying things like "all men are sluts!" and he wants them to be locked away or killed
that isnt any better than calling girls sluts
don't call anyone that
virgins
non virgins
people who have a lot of sex
people who have none
men
women
both
neither
don't.
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by ChaoBreeder2440 »

I like it when someone has had multiple partners, I actually find it pretty hot and fun. I also like it if someone is a virgin, for the same reason.

Oh, we're not talking about what I'm thinking of, are we?

Well, I don't think it matters if someone has had many partners. Maybe they just haven't been very lucky with relationships, boohoohooiknowthatfeeling. And if they're a virgin, I don't think it matters either, maybe they've just been unlucky, like I said. I also think these details are nobody's business but their lover's.

I also think having sex with people other than a lover is okay as long as they are single, or unless their lover is okay with it. I honestly don't see the problem with it. People can have ****buddies, sex is a very natural thing.
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