TRIFORCE GAIDEN SKYRIM FANTASY WIZARD DRAGON ADVENTURE SWORD

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TRIFORCE GAIDEN SKYRIM FANTASY WIZARD DRAGON ADVENTURE SWORD

Post by Blazing Groudon »

PART 1: THE WARRIOR BATTLE CRY ADVENTURE DAWN

One day Ganondorf was bored and said "l0l i gon go steel zlda", and with those "words" the adventure began. Ganon quickly attacked the kingdom and kidnapped Zelda by means unimportant. Luckily, Link found out about it and started up his TRIFORCE GAIDEN SKYRIM FANTASY WIZARD DRAGON ADVENTURE. He quickly did the only sensible thing and got drunk. While drunk, he went down to the castle place or whatever. In his drunken stupor, he mistook the royal catapult for a teeter-totter and ended up launching himself out so far he ended up jumping consoles and falling in Skyrim, home to dragons and stuff.

Now aware of his situation he realized that he needed to get back to his own universe, get back Zelda from Ganandorf, and find some more respawns. Wait now that he was in the Elder Scrolls he didn't need them anymore. While pondering these deep revelations, some Imperial Soldiers or whatever came in and sent him to be beheaded. While waiting in the line, he saw some other guy die and then he barfed because it was way gorier than all the stuff that happened in Hyrule. Still grossed out, he realized it was his turn. About to be ax'd by some random guy in a hood, he had an amazing stroke of luck. It just so happened that a FANTASY WIZARD DRAGON saw the village and decided just to burn it because he was bored just like Ganon was, and there weren't any princesses to steal this time.

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF OBLIVION IS THAT!?"

Link realized the whole village was in a frenzy and decided to run into some nearby tower or something. While running, the dragon saw him and he got burned. Aw man.

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF OBLIVION IS THAT!?"

This time Link decided to go faster than he did earlier. He made it inside, but still in all his troubles he could die at any second, thus triggering another respawn so it didn't matter that much. Although, he still had to get back, which wouldn't happen if dragons kept burning him.

What will happen to the hero? Find out in the next installment of TRIFORCE GAIDEN SKYRIM FANTASY WIZARD DRAGON ADVENTURE SWORD.
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Re: TRIFORCE GAIDEN SKYRIM FANTASY WIZARD DRAGON ADVENTURE S

Post by Sable »

I cried
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Re: TRIFORCE GAIDEN SKYRIM FANTASY WIZARD DRAGON ADVENTURE S

Post by Chaos the Light Chao »

I laughed, I cried; it moved me, Bob.
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Re: TRIFORCE GAIDEN SKYRIM FANTASY WIZARD DRAGON ADVENTURE S

Post by Blazing Groudon »

^My names not Bob, although that's probably some meme or inside joke I don't know about.

Anyway...

PART 2: RIVER OF THE MIGHTY ZOMBIE DRAGON CLAW

Trapped by the Dragon in the tower, Link ponders several options. He could see if there were any random hearts in jars or stuff. He could search for someone to use as a shield. He could- oh wait, that guy over there already thought of something. Link just follows him through the caves out of the village, and watches the FANTASY WIZARD DRAGON fly off in pride. He does some aimless walking, and then comes across some hick town called Woodriver. He quickly attempts lockpicking a house, but then gets caught and forced to spend time in the brutal prison box.

...

There. That was easy. Now a free man again, Link decides to go get some garb at some place called the Woodriver Trader. Inside he sees some guy behind the counter all upset. Link didn't care why, but he got told anyway. Apparently some thief or something showed up and stole his super-swag dragon claw. Link is sent to go take it back or whatever. He still doesn't care, but he just needs something to do, and there are no princesses to steal, and he can't burn down the village without getting sent to that horrible prison box again. Link somehow knows that the thief hid in some old-ass Nord tomb place in some far off mountain, and quickly goes there, by means again unimportant. After going in, he wanders through these stupid tomb traps and eventually sees the thief guy caught in some web thing, going to free the guy and take back the claw thing, Link is attacked by some giant spider thing. He soon spams it with arrows and it falls. After doing his rightful teabag on it for about 30 seconds, he starts walking back out but then remembers the guy. After cutting the guy loose, the lousy bildrat runs off deeper into the cave. After teabagging the spider another 20 seconds, Link decides to make chase to the thief. Eventually, he comes up to his dead body, with no signs of life around. Wait, the other bodies are starting to move. Link is soon surrounded by a bunch of ancient seleton-zombie warriors!

Will Link escape the zombies, return the claw, and eventually rescue the princess? Find out in the next installment of TRIFORCE GAIDEN SKYRIM FANTASY WIZARD DRAGON ADVENTURE SWORD!
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Re: TRIFORCE GAIDEN SKYRIM FANTASY WIZARD DRAGON ADVENTURE S

Post by Nietono »

NEXT J K ROWLING
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Re: TRIFORCE GAIDEN SKYRIM FANTASY WIZARD DRAGON ADVENTURE S

Post by Blazing Groudon »

PART 3: THE RITUAL OF THE LOST WARRIOR TOMB SHOUT

Link was surrounded by warrior skeleton zombies! He knew he had to do something. He drawed all of his power and attacked the unholy warriors. They all went down in like 3 seconds. Ha; those chumps wouldn't last five seconds in the Water Temple. Walking deeper into the cave, Link stepped on a trap and had a spiked door swing and hit him. Aw man.

...

Link was surrounded by warrior skeleton zombies! He knew he had to do something. He drawed all of his power and attacked the unholy warriors. They all went down in like 3 seconds. Ha; those chumps wouldn't last five seconds in the Water Temple.

This time Link was careful and stepped over it. Haha. Wandering through the cave, doing more cheap hack-and-slash attacks on zombies, Link gets to some cave carving that appears to have been either an ancient spell rune of some sort, or a McDonalds ad. Wait, it's starting to glow; yeah, it's a spell rune. Link absorbs some sort of power from the stone, but is too engrossed in killing another zombie. Link escapes, returns the claw to the shop-guy, who gives him some health potion thing and a map in return. Now looking at the map, Link proceeds to advance to the next large area place, the city of Whitedash. Upon arriving, the king immediately orders him to speak with the city's official SKYRIM FANTASY WIZARD. The wizard realizes Link absorbed some kind of awesome DRAGON energy from the McDonalds ad. Link is then told to get training for such a gift at a mighty wizard temple atop a mountain.

Upon doing many, many, grueling minutes of mountain climbing, Link reaches the temple. Inside, 4 mighty SKYRIM FANTASY WIZARDs immediately recognized him as a powerholder. They spend many more seconds teaching him how to do the unheard of. The most powerful chant ever...

FUS!
RO!
DAH!

Link can now use this chant of limitless power to shatter his enemies, blow back evil, and even create funny bloopers worthy of Youtube montages. All of this power must be necessary though, as even more FANTASY WIZARD DRAGONs are appearing throughout the land, devestating all in their path...

Can Link overcome the many obstacles, defeat the dragons, and return to Hyrule? Find out, only on TRIFORCE GAIDEN SKYRIM FANTASY WIZARD DRAGON ADVENTURE SWORD!!
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Re: TRIFORCE GAIDEN SKYRIM FANTASY WIZARD DRAGON ADVENTURE S

Post by Blazing Groudon »

PART 4: ARROW X KNEE ADVENTURE HERO RETURN BATTLE CRY

Link is now properly equipped with shouts for shouting, Potions for healing, and arrows for knee destruction. He now begins to make his effort to return to Hyrule. He heads back to Woodriver, and comes across the local blacksmith:

"May the gods watch over your battles, friend."

Link proceeds to greet him back, but ends up Fus Ro Dahing him accidentally.

"I'LL EAT YOUR HEART OUT!!!"

Link is now intimidated, and proceeds to run away, screaming and accidentally Fus Ro Dahing again, at which point the entire village is enraged and making chase to him. Enraged, they keep after him and the fatefully come across Alduin, the unholy master of the dragons. They all go into a free-for-all.

About 5 respawns later, Link realizes the only way to defeat Alduin is to rally all of the villagers together. They all agree after they keep dying, and they clash in combat. The dragon's fire and ice are fierce, but Alduin falls, and Link approaches him.

Staring each other down, Link draws his bow and arrow, and aims for the dragon's heart, but ends up missing and hitting him in the knee. The dragon screams and runs away, to become a guard.

Link won the battle! He feels successful, and rejoices with the villagers. He gets his own special sword forged by every blacksmith in Skyrim!

In his jubilation, Link ends up drunk and gets catapulted again, with the sword in hand, up Skyward.

Link returns to Hyrule, with his new sword of power, launched straight up Skyward.

Skyward! It was a Skyward sword!!

^And that, children, is what happens directly before the beginning of Skyward Sword!!

...No need to thank me for enlightening you.
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Re: TRIFORCE GAIDEN SKYRIM FANTASY WIZARD DRAGON ADVENTURE S

Post by lordcool »

omgz dis is so amazing rite moar!!1
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Re: TRIFORCE GAIDEN SKYRIM FANTASY WIZARD DRAGON ADVENTURE S

Post by Link The Hedgehog »

…I like it… :wink:
Did I miss anything guys? Besides CI revival posts I mean.
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Re: TRIFORCE GAIDEN SKYRIM FANTASY WIZARD DRAGON ADVENTURE S

Post by wic. »

A literary masterpiece. It is brilliant.
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