Retro's Detective Agency. (Updated 26th April)
- SkyGinge
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency.
Exactly what Pastaa said! It's just, aah, so original and funky. Well done, the three of you.
PM me if you have any piece of writing that you want reviewed, I'll do my best to help you out!
Funky stuff:
Funky stuff:
Spoiler:
- retrolinkx
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency.
With school, and the fact I don't have internet this may take some time for an update, also Fox, I think me and Picka should start filling you in on how the story should go, since we've already planned it out and if you don't know we have to keep changing the story.
You do a good job regardless.
You do a good job regardless.
Re: Retro's Detective Agency.
This story needs more Triert and eggs.
- Nano
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency.
Woops, sorry then Retro. I didn't get a memo and kinda assumed this was a freelance thing.
- retrolinkx
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency.
It's cool, we just have to change the story a bit, that's all.
- retrolinkx
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency.
I think I might update this.
But no one ever checks this place, so yeah, I doubt this topic will be as popular as before...
But no one ever checks this place, so yeah, I doubt this topic will be as popular as before...
- SkyGinge
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency.
Quit moaning. People still love this thread, I'm sure it'll still be checked!
PM me if you have any piece of writing that you want reviewed, I'll do my best to help you out!
Funky stuff:
Funky stuff:
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- retrolinkx
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency.
>that feel when moved back the Forum Games and Chat.
Looks like I'll get writing.
Looks like I'll get writing.
- Lamby
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency.
Looking forward to it.
"Oh baby won't you stop it/you and I haven't got it
Television romance "
- retrolinkx
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency.
It’s officially been two weeks since we broke up. Heh. I guess it takes longer to drink and smoke myself to death.
I got up from my chair, putting out my cigarette, and leaving the butt in the ashtray. My mouth was starting to dry. I tried moving, but I stumbled over the mountain of beer glasses I had been accumulating. I move past them and walked to my liquor cabinet to get some booze from my never-ending supply of poison.
"Come on," I said to myself, as my eyes scrolled through the various empty and half-filled bottles of liquor that made up my cabinet of treasures. "There must be something stronger in here." I stuck my hand further in, hoping to find the oldest and strongest drink known to man. I pulled something out and scanned the label. I couldn't even pronounce the name on the bottle, so I assumed it would do.
I went back to my chair, placed the bottle on the table and sat down. I patted my top pocket for another pack of cigarettes, but it was empty. I sighed and directed my head down.
"I should never have started this topic. I should've just stuck to being me... I mean, me a Detective? Ha."
I remembered the bottle next to me, and picked it up. It was surprisingly cold, and even in this dark, I could see a chill of some sort resonate off of it. I tried to twist open the top, but it was no use. I didn’t have the motivation or strength to try and force the frozen bottle open. I sighed again. Life was just too much for me at this point.
Suddenly, I heard a noise from behind me, it sounded like someone stepping on broken glass. I took out my gun and readied it in my hand in the direction of the noise...
“Probably nothing," I whispered to myself.
I calmed down and holstered it. I glanced at the bottle again, and then the fridge off in the distance, I got up and traipsed over to get another drink, this time a simple scotch.
As I returned to the table, I heard a bottle smash. I didn't want to let my mind think it was coming from inside, so I assumed it was from outside, but then it hit me.
Who would be outside my thread at this time, or, even worse, inside?
I stopped moving. I stopped breathing. I closed my eyes, and I listened.
"I guess it was just my head. All this booze can’t be good for my head."
Suddenly, I felt a force on my neck; I opened my eyes and felt an arm wrapped around my neck. Someone was trying to kill me.
I grabbed a bottle from my coffee table, and smashed it on the assailant’s head, it shattered, and I heard not only a scream but a sizzling sound as well. Whatever it was, it wasn’t alcohol. He let go of me and held his head while screaming in pain.
In this short second I had, I jumped away from his grip, and rolled over the table on to the floor. I turned and heard a whistling sound past my ear, it was an arrow, and it landed on the ends of my trench coat. Another assailant was after my head and this one was a good shot, too.
I picked the arrow out, just as another one fly past me. I dodged it and tried for the door, but of course as my luck would have it, another person would have to be there, he punched me in the face.
I was in a daze, staggering backwards. I knocked into someone, and as I turned around, all I could see was blood, melted skin, some bone, and very large, burly man looking at me.
He started punching in a wild frenzy. I dodged out of the way. I imagined that Crispy (The name I gave him) would be blind, but I guess not. Whatever I had thrown in his face is still mystery to me. A single hand grabbed me, and threw me across the room. I fell to the floor, and felt the butt of my gun on my lap. I took it out, and started firing crazily into the darkness, until my clip ran out. Whoever these guys were, they were good.
But I knew I was better.
I stood up, and reloaded my gun. A cutlass came out of nowhere, and was being swung manically. The third assailant.
As I tried to dodge the swings, I got in a quick punch on the face, and then grabbed his hand with the sword and twisted it, disarming the sword. As I tried to pick it up, The Pirate (The name I gave him) kicked me in the back, knocking me down. He quickly swooped up the sword, and tried to fight me again, but I hooked my arm around his foot, and pulled it, making him fall and hit his head on the table, knocking him out.
Crispy was on my tail. I got up and tried to run, but he grabbed me and punched me in the stomach, following these jabs with a quick hook to the face. I fell to the floor nearly, vision fading and blood rushing in my ears. He picked me up and I saw his bony face smile. I took my hand and grabbed the mush that was his face and pulled at it. He let out another scream, and dropped me. The amount of pain he must've felt had to have been terrible, but I felt no sympathy for him. I tried for the door once again, when the Sniper tried for me again. This time, the bolt went past my jacket and missed, hitting Crispy, as he fell to the floor with an almighty bang.
The Sniper jumped down and tried to fight me, but I could see he wasn't experienced in hand to hand. I dodged his weak punch, grabbed his hand, and punched him in the face. He fell to the floor and didn't get up.
Suddenly my UCP started to vibrate, and who would it be other than Fox.
I took it out of my pocket, and answered it.
"RETRO! HE'S TRYING TO KILL US!" Fox cried.
"I'm not deaf you idiot!" I screamed back.
"Look, there is not time to argue, are you alright?!" Fox seemed to have some concern in his voice; I stopped messing with him, put my srs bsns face on.
"Yeah, some guys tried to kill me, I got them though..."
"...Look, we have to do something, we're all in danger, he could get us at any-..." I heard the phone drop, and a scream or two.
"FOX..." I shouted into the phone. "FOX WHAT'S HAPPENING?"
I heard someone pick up the phone "Fox...He's with us now" the mysterious voice sounded familiar, like an ex-mod who wants revenge.
"C-Crazo..." I calmly asked.
"Who else?" He hung up the phone.
I got up from my chair, putting out my cigarette, and leaving the butt in the ashtray. My mouth was starting to dry. I tried moving, but I stumbled over the mountain of beer glasses I had been accumulating. I move past them and walked to my liquor cabinet to get some booze from my never-ending supply of poison.
"Come on," I said to myself, as my eyes scrolled through the various empty and half-filled bottles of liquor that made up my cabinet of treasures. "There must be something stronger in here." I stuck my hand further in, hoping to find the oldest and strongest drink known to man. I pulled something out and scanned the label. I couldn't even pronounce the name on the bottle, so I assumed it would do.
I went back to my chair, placed the bottle on the table and sat down. I patted my top pocket for another pack of cigarettes, but it was empty. I sighed and directed my head down.
"I should never have started this topic. I should've just stuck to being me... I mean, me a Detective? Ha."
I remembered the bottle next to me, and picked it up. It was surprisingly cold, and even in this dark, I could see a chill of some sort resonate off of it. I tried to twist open the top, but it was no use. I didn’t have the motivation or strength to try and force the frozen bottle open. I sighed again. Life was just too much for me at this point.
Suddenly, I heard a noise from behind me, it sounded like someone stepping on broken glass. I took out my gun and readied it in my hand in the direction of the noise...
“Probably nothing," I whispered to myself.
I calmed down and holstered it. I glanced at the bottle again, and then the fridge off in the distance, I got up and traipsed over to get another drink, this time a simple scotch.
As I returned to the table, I heard a bottle smash. I didn't want to let my mind think it was coming from inside, so I assumed it was from outside, but then it hit me.
Who would be outside my thread at this time, or, even worse, inside?
I stopped moving. I stopped breathing. I closed my eyes, and I listened.
"I guess it was just my head. All this booze can’t be good for my head."
Suddenly, I felt a force on my neck; I opened my eyes and felt an arm wrapped around my neck. Someone was trying to kill me.
I grabbed a bottle from my coffee table, and smashed it on the assailant’s head, it shattered, and I heard not only a scream but a sizzling sound as well. Whatever it was, it wasn’t alcohol. He let go of me and held his head while screaming in pain.
In this short second I had, I jumped away from his grip, and rolled over the table on to the floor. I turned and heard a whistling sound past my ear, it was an arrow, and it landed on the ends of my trench coat. Another assailant was after my head and this one was a good shot, too.
I picked the arrow out, just as another one fly past me. I dodged it and tried for the door, but of course as my luck would have it, another person would have to be there, he punched me in the face.
I was in a daze, staggering backwards. I knocked into someone, and as I turned around, all I could see was blood, melted skin, some bone, and very large, burly man looking at me.
He started punching in a wild frenzy. I dodged out of the way. I imagined that Crispy (The name I gave him) would be blind, but I guess not. Whatever I had thrown in his face is still mystery to me. A single hand grabbed me, and threw me across the room. I fell to the floor, and felt the butt of my gun on my lap. I took it out, and started firing crazily into the darkness, until my clip ran out. Whoever these guys were, they were good.
But I knew I was better.
I stood up, and reloaded my gun. A cutlass came out of nowhere, and was being swung manically. The third assailant.
As I tried to dodge the swings, I got in a quick punch on the face, and then grabbed his hand with the sword and twisted it, disarming the sword. As I tried to pick it up, The Pirate (The name I gave him) kicked me in the back, knocking me down. He quickly swooped up the sword, and tried to fight me again, but I hooked my arm around his foot, and pulled it, making him fall and hit his head on the table, knocking him out.
Crispy was on my tail. I got up and tried to run, but he grabbed me and punched me in the stomach, following these jabs with a quick hook to the face. I fell to the floor nearly, vision fading and blood rushing in my ears. He picked me up and I saw his bony face smile. I took my hand and grabbed the mush that was his face and pulled at it. He let out another scream, and dropped me. The amount of pain he must've felt had to have been terrible, but I felt no sympathy for him. I tried for the door once again, when the Sniper tried for me again. This time, the bolt went past my jacket and missed, hitting Crispy, as he fell to the floor with an almighty bang.
The Sniper jumped down and tried to fight me, but I could see he wasn't experienced in hand to hand. I dodged his weak punch, grabbed his hand, and punched him in the face. He fell to the floor and didn't get up.
Suddenly my UCP started to vibrate, and who would it be other than Fox.
I took it out of my pocket, and answered it.
"RETRO! HE'S TRYING TO KILL US!" Fox cried.
"I'm not deaf you idiot!" I screamed back.
"Look, there is not time to argue, are you alright?!" Fox seemed to have some concern in his voice; I stopped messing with him, put my srs bsns face on.
"Yeah, some guys tried to kill me, I got them though..."
"...Look, we have to do something, we're all in danger, he could get us at any-..." I heard the phone drop, and a scream or two.
"FOX..." I shouted into the phone. "FOX WHAT'S HAPPENING?"
I heard someone pick up the phone "Fox...He's with us now" the mysterious voice sounded familiar, like an ex-mod who wants revenge.
"C-Crazo..." I calmly asked.
"Who else?" He hung up the phone.
Last edited by retrolinkx on Thu Jun 06, 2013 5:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- Nano
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency.
My god...
That was beautiful, thank you so much.
That was beautiful, thank you so much.
- SkyGinge
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency.
Glad to see that you're back writing this masterpiece, Retro. I'm curious to find out who the three attackers are.
PM me if you have any piece of writing that you want reviewed, I'll do my best to help you out!
Funky stuff:
Funky stuff:
Spoiler:
-
- Veteran Chao
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency.
Okay, let me rejoin, and I want to be serious.
- retrolinkx
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency.
But Loud, you died, we're trying to be serious here, we can't just bring you back to life.
-
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency.
It's not the same Loudclaw. It was a clone... As far as they know, it was the real thing, but they got a clone.
- retrolinkx
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency.
retrolinkx wrote:we're trying to be serious here
- SkyGinge
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency.
Would it be wise to make them reintroduce you, Loud? They would probably just humiliate you again.
PM me if you have any piece of writing that you want reviewed, I'll do my best to help you out!
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Spoiler:
- Lamby
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency.
Sorry, retro. I thought I commented on your latest part. Apparently I haven't.
Loved the attackers' nickname, by the way. This story never disappoints.
Loved the attackers' nickname, by the way. This story never disappoints.
"Oh baby won't you stop it/you and I haven't got it
Television romance "
- cinnamonstyx
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency.
aww foxy
you're a third wheel, yeah, but this is a TRICYCLE!!!!!
you're a third wheel, yeah, but this is a TRICYCLE!!!!!
eboy's seme
- Nano
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency.
G-Gosh Picka
I'm honored... ;-;
I'm honored... ;-;
- Lamby
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency.
Loved that metaphor, Patrick. Very true for you three.
"Oh baby won't you stop it/you and I haven't got it
Television romance "
- cinnamonstyx
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency.
Doesn't a story kinda, you know, belong in the stories section of chao island?
- cinnamonstyx
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency.
wow you really haven't kept up with anything related to this.
which is a-ok but the answer your seeking is within this last page of posts here.
which is a-ok but the answer your seeking is within this last page of posts here.
eboy's seme