Retro's Detective Agency. (Updated 26th April)

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Re: Retro's Detective Agency. (Updated 12th August)

Post by Nano »

COME BACK TO ME
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency. (Updated 12th August)

Post by retrolinkx »

Come now, Fox. It's only been 3 months.

Picka can still wait another few more before we start getting all pissy at him.
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency. (Updated 12th August)

Post by cinnamonstyx »

Thank you, Retro.
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency. (Updated 12th August)

Post by Nano »

It's almost been 1 month are we ready are we are we
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency.

Post by retrolinkx »

On a side note. I just found that anime today, so I'm just making guesses on who is who. I don't even know who the people are.

And, in actual related news, I think Picka may write soon.
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency. (Updated 12th August)

Post by Nano »

Oh man I watched it and kinda had a feeling I'd be him.
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency. (Updated 12th August)

Post by cinnamonstyx »

No music yet. I'll add that in tomorrow. Also gonna add in a little more to the fight scenes. But here we go. The big update.

It all happened a little fast, but it feels like it's been quite awhile. Ever wake up with a pounding headache that hurt so bad you needed to puke, and were sober? I don't know about you but in my humble opinion it's not a particularly fun sensation to have your head throb like it's about to cave in. You start off thinking, "Goddamn, what did I drink last night?" only to realize the biggest crime lord in town has it out for you, placing hits left and right on you and your cohorts, and that the nasty gash on your head and the distinct taste of boot, piss, and iron is probably from whatever thug was hired to bash your head in and the jail cell you've been tossed in while a pint-sized asshole decides what to do with you.

My name is TechnoGeisha and I am an alcoholic. Also I'm a detective. You probably forgot about me. It takes me awhile to get my thoughts together so I don't talk as much as my buddies. Kind of a shame for them, they're always expecting something great to come out of my mouth and nothing ever does. Apparently I'm locked in a jail cell, and even more apparently telephone calls aren't something you should make on the streets of CI.

My first question upon waking up from whatever bludgeoning induced coma I was put in was, "Where the **** do I get myself a drink?"

My second was, "How the hell did these two get in here?" for both Fox Boy and Retrolinkx were on the ground with me.

My third was, "Why does my head hurt so bad?" Slowly, I pieced together the fact that I had called Retro and Fox the prior night to say something about whatever, and that my twenty-five cent short-distance call was enough to get CI's most wanted to send a thug to bash my head in with a baseball bat.

My last question, after puking for three minutes straight into a rust brown colored toilet bowl and slipping on what I hoped was water and chipping on the cold stone floor was, "How do we get out of here?"

I focused mostly on the first and last of these questions. I searched the incapacitated bodies of my colleagues for flasks or keys, and then banged on the jail cell when I realized they had neither. Guards, ruffians rather, passed by every once in awhile to make sure I knew they were ignoring me. One time a guard with a fedora almost pulled a gun on me because I was whining too loudly, but by then my plights had already woken up Fox, who promptly dragged me to the ground and covered my mouth as to muffle me.

"What the HELL are you doing you asshole?" Fox scolded, muting his voice as not to wake our boss.

I pushed him off of me and tried to defend my *****ing. "Trying to get us out!"

"How do you expect whining like a goddamn idiot to get us out of a prison?” His words stung. I can’t believe he didn’t trust me on this, I’m a genius.

“I had a plan…” I put on my best crocodile tears. Nothing happened.

Fox grumbled, and Retro rustles in his sleep a little. “And what does that plan involve?”

I shrugged, not really knowing myself. “Improvisation.”

“What-”

“Just, would you shut up and let me whine some more?”

Fox Boy gave up, and sits back down. I resumed sobbing between iron bars. It’s a solid five minutes of my most obnoxious voice before one of the guards even twitches, but I continue until my voice cracks. By that point, I had finally baited one of them to come and silence me.

“Shut up over there,” a fedora wearing thug barked, pointing his AK at me. Nice. These boys were well equipped. Sporting Mother Russia’s greatest innovation, he walks over as I continue crying for help, and repeats himself. “I said shut-”

I of course took this opportunity to grab him by his tie, slam his face into the bars, and kick him in the crotch through the bars. He collapsed to the floor in pain, and I smash my foot into his nose. I grab his gun and pull in through between the bars, and grasp for the keys in his back pocket. A perfect escape if I’ve ever had one.

“Jesus Christ, Picka, what the hell was that?” Retro asked in horror, as he rejoined the two of us in the land of the living.

“Ey, nice to see you could join us princess.” I smile, fumbling my way with the lock and keys. I hear a click and shove doors open.

We cleaned ourselves up quickly, tied our shoes and fastened our ties, fixed our jackets and Fox took a smoke. Apparently they hadn’t confiscated his lucky Dark Chao rolled cigarettes. Good for him. I still wanted a drink. Fortunately for our little threesome, there were no other guards on this shift, so we took the time to plan out our next course of action.

“What do we do next?” Fox inquired, rubbing the back of his head to find where his head had hit when they threw his ass into a cell.

“I’m guessing this is probably Crazo’s hideout.” Retro nodded, rolling his shoulder to warm himself up for what would come next.

“How do you figure?” Fox asked back.

“Because I know mobsters like Crazo. They want you close to home, so if you escape, they can screw you over in person.”

We shrugged. It felt like a final boss dungeon anyway.

“So what do we do?” I asked, looking directly into Retro’s eyes.

“We find this asshole and put enough holes in him that we no longer recognize the fat from the bone.”

“Ew.”

We break, and headed off into the wild unknown that was Castle Crazo.

Skulking around a mafioso fortress like his was quite the experience. It seemed like the entire place was devoid of guards, so Fox never bothered to put out his cigarette. We even found two handguns just lying there, so that all three of us had something in our hands. We wandered up stairs and hallways, brick after brick looking for any door that seemed the least bit like it would hold a crime lord behind it. But there was no such door. There were no doors at all, actually, and that’s what started to spook us. What labyrinthian nightmare was this?

Finally, there was a narrow stretch of hallway that seemed to get darker and darker. We worked our way through in a line, only Retro’s and Fox’s lighters to give us any flicker of vision. A door was before us. Unlocked, too. This must’ve been it. This must’ve been the dragon’s den.

Click. We open the door, only to be greeted by a single lamp, desk, chair and Crazo. The room was pitch black aside from the desk, and Crazo greeted us with a smile. “I suppose that took you long enough. Oh well. It’s a real shame it had to end like this. Blarg.” And at that blarg, the room light up, revealing a warehouse full of angry looking users, tommy guns, rams horns, and brutes with brass knuckles.

“Lol. Just get rid of these guys. They know about my sex scandal.”

“What sex scanda-” Retro was about to ask before a thousand bullets flew at us in every direction. Crazo walked off from his desk, up a flight of stairs to what looked like an office, protected by a hailstorm of metal provided by his very own private army. Jesus Christ, what had we gotten into.

Crates surrounded us. We all fell into cover, and tried to figure out what to do next.

“Holy ****, what in Mooncow’s name is happening?” I panicked.

“I don’t know but we NEED to get Crazo.” Retro yelled, loading his handgun.

“Yeah. One of us has to go after him, the other two of us can hold back for support and try to get them a chance to find him.” Fox nods, narrowly avoiding an oncoming headshot.

“I’ll go.” Retro volunteered, standing up briefly in the hailfire, avoiding all bullets and managing to get in a headshot at one of the goons.

“Sounds good.” I shook my head though. This was all way too much.

“Picka. I need you to provide cover fire. You can’t fail me. The miracle has to happen.” Retro pepped me, grabbing my shoulder and talking to me like he was my eighth grade coach right before I tanked my fitness exam.

“Alright. We can do this. Trust me.”

And then in a gallant burst of energy, the three of us simultaneously stood, Retro handing off gun to Fox, myself unloading a clip into the room, and Fox managing to fire both of his handguns with little to no recoil. This was some FPS ****. Retro ran through oncoming fire, managing to reach the stairwell only grazed by the bullets, while Fox and I got ourselves torn to pieces by all the guns. But little by little, bullet by bullet, their numbers dwindled. The ratatata of fire became quieter and quieter, until all that was left was Fox, myself, and our respective empty clips.

That was when the big guys came in, though.
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency. (Updated 12th August)

Post by Nano »

It was all I ever dreamed of
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency. (Updated 12th August)

Post by Crash32 »

i can't read it through all the virtual dust that's piled up
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency. (Updated 12th August)

Post by cinnamonstyx »

I actually chuckled so I'm gonna let that pass.
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency. (Updated 12th August)

Post by Nano »

Oh that doesn't look good.

It looked like the guy who nearly smashed my chest into dust was back, and he had brought his brother. The two who fully decked out in riot gear. Body armor, Gatling guns, flash bangs, grenades, etc. These two were ready to fight off an entire army. I gave Picka a nervous glance and he returned it, but we both nodded. Now was not the time to wuss out. While it was true we were both low on ammo, there was no doubt that we could take them on.

First things first, I was curious as to what was inside these crates we had hid behind. I smashed one open and looked inside. It was filled with guns and cocaine! Awesome! Taking out the AK rifles stashed inside, I tossed one to Picka and loaded one myself. Suddenly, I could hear their guns whirling up and realized these crates were not going to hold on much longer. I was the first to dash out, allowing Picka some time to continue loading his gun. I got three shots out before realizing the recoil was hard on these things. I had never fired a god damn assault rifle before, so next thing I knew I was falling behind a new group of crates.

Picka rolled to some more sturdy cover as he watched his recent become vaporized by bullets. Shooting, he managed to keep his aim under control and hit the body armor of one of them. The body armor absorbed the bullet and the brute turned his attention to Picka, firing in his general direction.

Recovering from my fall, I sat up and leaned against one of the crates, opening fire (this time with a bit more control) and striking a brute in the arm. He yelped in pain and yelled at the other one to focus on me. They weren't as stupid as they looked apparently!

Quickly, I ran up a series of boxes and continued firing upon the brutes while running across.

Picka smashed open another crate and pulled out a grenade and lube. Picka tossed the lube and pulled the pin on the grenade, tossing it out towards the brutes. The two yelled some profanity and dodged, barely avoiding the blast. I took this as my chance and jumped on the closest ones back, shooting my pistol at his Gatling gun and rendering it useless. He roared and tossed me off, ready to use this non-functioning gun as a functioning blunt object.

"Oh ****! Picka help!" I called out. Picka reached inside the crate and pulled out another bottle of lube. Realizing there wasn't enough time to keep going, he quickly dashed towards the brute with a functioning gun that was still getting up and blinded him with lube.

"AGH! MY EYES!!" he screamed, dropping the gun to rub his eyes. Picka took the opportunity to grab the gun and aim it towards the other brute, opening fire at him. The recoil on this one though was intense, and Picka soon found himself shooting all over the warehouse.

I rolled away and hid, shouting at Picka, "Christ in a hand basket, watch where you're shooting!" Soon enough, the gun was out of ammo and Picka laid sprawled on the floor, exhausted from the shooting. The bullets had managed to impact the other brute a few times, penetrating the armor and forcing him to the ground, moaning in pain.

Final guy, here we go!

With Picka out of commission for now and the brute starting to recover from the lube, I made my way towards the buff guy who just so happened to be the one that smashed my chest. "Yo, asshole," I called out, tossing my gun down and positioning myself in a ready stance, "let's tussle."Cricking his neck, he took off his armor and cracked his knuckles. With a monstrous yell, he charged towards me. My eyes grew wide for a second and I barely avoided his fist, using the momentum for a blow against his leg.

He fell to one knee, but quickly recovered and smashed my side, flinging me across the room and into a group of crates. I shook myself and glanced around. In these crates were a bunch of plushies of Crazo, making me shiver a bit. I pulled myself together and stood, charging the guy with all I had. He wound up his fist and was ready to clobber me when I tossed a Crazo plushie into the air, temporarily distracting him. With one powerful kick, I smashed his genitals and heard a small yelp before a massive thud as he hit the ground.

Breathing heavily I rested my hands on my knees and looked towards Picka. He had regained his composure and was making his way towards me, slightly limping. "Hey man."

"Hey." I glanced down at the guy who looked to be in an immense amount of pain. I spat on him, blood mixed in with my spit and returned back to Picka. "Now what?"

Immediately after a gunshot was heard upstairs and we both looked at one another. "Retro," we both whispered quietly.
Last edited by Nano on Sun May 11, 2014 8:34 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency. (Updated 21st March)

Post by retrolinkx »

I ran up the stairs to catch up to Crazo, I was tired. It had been three damn years but I knew I was close to the end.

I reached the roof of the building. It was still raining, like always. Crazo was there though, and bashed me in the face with his fist. I fell to the ground but I wasn't out yet. He grabbed me and threw me across the rooftop. I got back up and noticed him charging at me. He tried to punch me again, but I dodged, kicked him the stomach then slammed him in the face with my fist. I wasn't playing around this time. This was the end.

And we both knew it.

Crazo got back up and lunged at me again, he shouted a battle cry and bear hugged me. I couldn't escape, his anger made him strong and I was a steaming pile of hate he ran towards the end of the building holding me tighter every second, I thought I was done for this time. Although, as luck would have it he tripped letting go of me as we both fell onto that wet, concrete floor. As we fell my gun fell out of it's holster and onto the ground. I reached for it but Crazo was too quick.

"Get up," he commanded.

I stood up and gripped my arm, the fall wounded me. We were both breathing heavily. I looked at the barrel of my gun pointed at my head and a shaky arm. I knew if I tried anything I'd be as good as dead.

"Why..." he gasped for breath, "Why did you try and stop me?"

I didn't reply.

"You don't understand anything do you? Why do you think I was doing this?" he continued to tell me his story.

"The mods are nothing but crooked dictators of Chao Island. They want everyone to follow their rules, this big five..." he smiled and chuckled under his breath.

"I was part of that you know. I was the newest member of the big five; number 6."

"It was great. I had power, Chao points, women and power. I had it all, until that day..." he gripped the handgun tighter and continued with his story. "I found out what it meant to be a moderator that day. It wasn't about keeping order, it was about how much money you could be paid to wreck havoc."

"Remember Bushnak, he was banned for a day or so and then the mods suddenly ‘lifted’ his ban. Pathetic." he spat on the wet ground "Those mods were nothing but a sham, I had a go at Fusion for it, but he said that it was a ‘mistake’ and he wasn't in the wrong or some bs. Then the next goddamn day I see Torro and Bushnak in the Chatbox having a laugh with some beer and had a toast to ‘not getting banned’.”

"I had it."

"I went out of the chatbox and saw it. Torro's precious car. I smashed the window and hot wired the car. I drove it straight into the mods forum. I wanted that fool to pay for how low he sunk. It was simple, smash the car through the mods forum, leave and Torro would get demodded. Although the plan backfired. Turned out Torro saw me steal the car and took Bushnak's car to the mod forum. He saw me get out of the car and told the others."

"I was demodded the next day." he uttered.

"You see you fool!" He exclaimed while shaking the gun "I've been plotting revenge for years, and I was about to carry it out. I had when I needed, but no. You and your rag tag group of nobodies tried to stop me."

"I was going to improve Chao Island. I was going to rebuild it in my own way. A way of Justice and Truth, not of bribes and popularity," he started to laugh, "And you wanna know the best part? I was going to ask you to join me."

"Me?" I replied

"Yeah, all three of you." he laughed.

"But now," His face changed from a crazed demeanor to a serious one, "I'm going to kill you."

He readied the gun, I couldn't do anything, I wasn't strong enough. I shut my eyes and waited for the moment.

*Bang*

I heard a gunshot behind me, I stumbled around behind me and there he was.

"L-LOUDCLAW?" I exclaimed, he was wearing his glorious power suit, donning a fedora and trench coat over it. His world was faintly playing in the background. "B-but I-I thought that y-you." I then noticed something, he was holding a gun with the barrel still smoking. "No..."

I turned around and saw Crazo breathing heavily with a gunshot wound in his chest. He was shocked, he tried to aim his gun back, but Loudclaw was too quick. He shot him in the head and Crazo fell off the roof into the abyss below. "No!" I screamed reaching my right arm out towards him as he fell.

My mind stopped caring about Crazo and immediately on Loudclaw. "YOU *******, I'LL-"

"Now, now..." he pointed the gun back at me "Let's not get too hasty shall we."

He took off his Helmet and underneath was another fedora. "Why..." I asked

"Why?" he replied in utter disgust "WHY WASN'T I PART OF YOUR DETECTIVE AGENCY?"

."Haha, well," he readied his gun at me.

"Wait! I-If you kill me, you'll never be part of the detective agency!"

"And?" he exclaimed, "I don't want to be part of your agency anymore, I did once, but that was when I was trying to be cool, and hone my skills as a writer."

"Heh, but I won't kill you." he smirked. "I'll kill your best friend instead." He aimed his gun at the stairwell, the only entrance to the roof.

"When he comes out of there, I'll shoot him and you won't be able to do anything," he started to laugh like a maniac, I tried walking towards him but I was hurt badly. I didn't know what to do. I could hear the footsteps of Picka and Fox rushing up the stairs. I couldn't do anything.

Then it hit me. I didn't have to stop Picka, I had to stop Loudclaw. He was still dangerously close to the end of the rooftop. I had to wait for the right time. As Picka casually came out of the entrance I took my chance, I ran at Loudclaw and tackled him pushing him backwards, the gun shot in the air as I moved his arm up. I continued pushing until we were both near the edge of the roof. One last push, and that was it. I threw my whole body forward, pushing us both off the end of the rooftop. As I fell I heard a shout and a scream from behind me. I closed my eyes and waiting. This was it. The End.
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency. (Updated 26th April)

Post by Yukki »

Aha, nice. If only Loud was here to gloat about his role.

BTW, I'd like a role too, but you don't have to put me in, seeing as how close this is to being over.
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency. (Updated 26th April)

Post by KeatonLabs »

Judging by the dates of page 12, i can see why this was unnoticed by me. Think I'll give the whole thing a read to get a better understanding.

Though i do like this one part.
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency. (Updated 26th April)

Post by retrolinkx »

It's sad to see that no one cares as much as they did back when ;_;.
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency. (Updated 26th April)

Post by Nano »

Did we ever discover a reason for RS' death btw

I was rereading it and

I didn't see it haha
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency. (Updated 26th April)

Post by retrolinkx »

Crazo was the Deus Ex Machina of this entire story I presume.
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency. (Updated 26th April)

Post by Crash32 »

So when is the book of this masterpiece releasing?
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency. (Updated 26th April)

Post by retrolinkx »

When Picka becomes a writer.

He told me he's going to make Retro's Detective Agency into a book.

Can't wait.
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Re: Retro's Detective Agency. (Updated 26th April)

Post by Crazo3077 »

I'm fully aware this hasn't been touched in a month, but it is beautiful. I genuinely do hope that you guys actually pursue writing.
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