Retro's Detective Agency. (Updated 26th April)

Forum games such as "corrupt a wish" and "rate the above poster" can be played in this forum.
This is also the area for casual chat topics.
Chao Points and post counting are disabled in this forum.
Warning! This topic is 9 years and 10 months old! Please consider opening a new topic rather that bumping up this very old post.
Locked
User avatar
Wolf
Veteran Chaos Chao
Veteran Chaos Chao
Posts: 6570
Joined: Sat Dec 13, 2008 5:16 am
Contact:

Re: Retro's Detective Agency.

Post by Wolf »

what fox said
and this story is great WORK FASTER AT IT >:C
User avatar
Lamby
Chaos Chao
Chaos Chao
Posts: 2228
Joined: Sun Mar 11, 2012 5:38 pm
Motto: running this block, running the chain gang
Location: 9th circle
Contact:

Re: Retro's Detective Agency.

Post by Lamby »

Some swing. If you find the right mood. Say you have an action sequence. I know swing, jazz, and big band are all in the same vein but I'd like to see a moment with more things like this put to use:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgD-PBNyFrY or http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g736Itbo ... re=related

So I'm pretty much with Fox.
Image
"Oh baby won't you stop it/you and I haven't got it
Television romance "
Jack Augustine
Veteran Chao
Veteran Chao
Posts: 1366
Joined: Sat Feb 18, 2012 1:05 am
Motto: Thunder Fang! See you never.
Location: Behind your monitor, plotting your bans...

Re: Retro's Detective Agency.

Post by Jack Augustine »

Please! Let me join and I can be so much help. I love being part of groups...
User avatar
Wolf
Veteran Chaos Chao
Veteran Chaos Chao
Posts: 6570
Joined: Sat Dec 13, 2008 5:16 am
Contact:

Re: Retro's Detective Agency.

Post by Wolf »

loudclaw please stop you cant join and you will never join and nobody would want you to join
User avatar
cinnamonstyx
Veteran Chao
Veteran Chao
Posts: 1571
Joined: Fri Aug 05, 2011 2:56 am

Re: Retro's Detective Agency.

Post by cinnamonstyx »

Loudclaw, I'm making you a detective.
You don't get to write, but you'll be a KEY FIGURE in this story.
Aight?
eboy's seme
User avatar
retrolinkx
Veteran Chaos Chao
Veteran Chaos Chao
Posts: 6323
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2008 5:33 pm
Motto: I can't believe I ate the whole thing.
Contact:

Re: Retro's Detective Agency.

Post by retrolinkx »

Yeah, that edgy comment really showed me how much you wanted in so I discussed with Picka. So don't worry man, you'll be quite the Key figure.
Image
Picka and Fox's Partner, Retro's Legend.
Fox Boy wrote:fusion+pie=fusion pie!
User avatar
SkyGinge
Veteran Chao
Veteran Chao
Posts: 1183
Joined: Tue Aug 21, 2012 2:59 pm
Location: At home, being a lazy little Dingbat

Re: Retro's Detective Agency.

Post by SkyGinge »

This story is probably the most original and coolest idea ever. As long as you guys keep writing this I'll be happy! :'D
PM me if you have any piece of writing that you want reviewed, I'll do my best to help you out!

Funky stuff:
User avatar
Crazo3077
Mystical Chaos Chao
Mystical Chaos Chao
Posts: 7153
Joined: Mon Nov 17, 2008 9:17 pm
Motto: xP

Re: Retro's Detective Agency.

Post by Crazo3077 »

I checked this out after doing my egotistical search for my name. Then I just found it all compelling. You're good at telling a story, retro. That's for sure. Distracted me enough from Doctor Who.
Image
Avatar Art by chocohugs; Signature by Tsui
Jack Augustine
Veteran Chao
Veteran Chao
Posts: 1366
Joined: Sat Feb 18, 2012 1:05 am
Motto: Thunder Fang! See you never.
Location: Behind your monitor, plotting your bans...

Re: Retro's Detective Agency.

Post by Jack Augustine »

Sure, I'll keep checking back every day or two. Thanks.
User avatar
cinnamonstyx
Veteran Chao
Veteran Chao
Posts: 1571
Joined: Fri Aug 05, 2011 2:56 am

Re: Retro's Detective Agency.

Post by cinnamonstyx »

We're baaaack

I'm about ready to snap as the three of us travel through the shroud of darkness we call night.
Water falls from the heavens, knocking our spirits down into the asphalt. Rain beats our necks, but this is the least of our problems.

Things had gone from bad to worse. First, our office is broken into, and we’re nearly killed. Next, RS, a good friend of mine, is revealed to be the victim of a brutal execution. And worse? The notorious crime syndicate known only as the Crazo Family is somehow involved. I had been scrawling down what I could hear of the conversation, my hand hearing more than my mind, but the rain had tarnished the paper. When all is said and done, Retro asks me what I think of all this.

The only word I can muster up was “bad”.

“Bad”, however, didn’t begin to describe this nightmare.

We return to Retro’s office. I hang up my coat; Retro tosses his on his chair, and Fox, who had kept his damn umbrella up the entire time, enters the shabby little apartment-cum-agency perfectly dry. “So,” I start, trying to think of something to lighten the mood. “At least it isn’t the MLP club!”

“Picka, shut up.” Fox spits at me, visibly angry at the situation.

“Hey, calm down Fox.” Retro scowls, straitening his hat. We’re tired, and tensions are growing.

“As if we need his dumbass comments. We don’t need any artificial creamers to lighten up this bitter, bitter coffee. No matter what, it’s going to be terrible to drink, regardless of the color.” Fox’s metaphor is astonishing. I silently wonder how long he had been saving that one.

Retro goes into his room to get a bottle of whiskey, hoping the alcohol will help to mellow the atmosphere. I clam up out of fear, and Fox stands in the middle of the room, just scowling and crossing his arms.

I get the glasses out of the cabinet when I see Retro has a bottle, and we all sit down. The tension was so thick you’d need a butcher’s cleaver to cut it.

We all take our drinks, but none of us drink. The alcohol sits in our hands, and none of us can seem to say anything meaningful.

Finally, I speak up. What I say, though, is pretty worthless. “What’re we gonna do about this mess?”

“Give up.” Fox says, dread permeating his words.

“That’s not-” I begin to say, only to be cut off.

“What’re we going to do, Techno? What in the Internet do you expect us to do about this? Try and fight the usergroup? That’s suicide. Get the moderators to intervene? They’re bought out and clueless.” He stands, and slams his fist on the coffee table. The ashtray shakes and the remains of a cigar I had smoked early scatter over the glass.

I stand and retaliate. “We can’t just sit here and do nothing! We were almost killed, and more than that, RS is dead!”

“Fox! Picka! Just sit down and chill out! We all need to cool off.” Retro interjects, beckoning for us to sit back down.

“And who made you the boss?” Fox defiantly yells, enraged by this whole ordeal.

“The sign. Go outside and read it.” Retro calmly retorts, with a noticeable hint of a sneer.

Fox snaps, and screams at us. “You haven’t been able to figure out anything, Retro! I’ve been doing all the work here! I found out it was RS! I got Chaos to arrange a visit to the Mod Forum for us! And what’ve you done? Drink, tag along, and drink some more! You’re loser drunkards, the both of you.”

Retro is finally broken by Fox’s words. He draws his gun, and points it at Fox. Fox draws his own, and there is a steely lock between their eyes. “Get. Out.” Retro spits, his finger wrapped around the trigger.

Fox complies. He refuses to shoot, and lowers his gun. “Fine.” He says, and he head for the door. He opens his umbrella before he leaves.

“I hope you drown in this heavy rain, Retrolinkx.”

Retro collapses on his couch, and hangs his head in shame. “Picka,” He tells me, “Go home. This case is over.”

I think about fighting what he says; I think about trying to get them to make amends. But I am paused by the sight of tears rolling down his cheeks. The hopelessness of the situation, and the face off with one of his best friends, has emotionally drained and compromised the stoic I know as Retrolinkx. I back off.

“Don’t get yourself killed, Retro.”

---

It’s been two weeks since we’ve disbanded the Detective Agency. Retro has been holed up in his office for weeks, drinking and smoking, only coming out of his house to prevent himself from dying of asphyxiation. Fox, being the district attorney, has been avoiding his problems with paper work and rhetoric. As for myself, I’ve been hanging out in the local hotspot, the Chat Box. For many, the Chat Box is the threshold between the city of CI and the seedy underground that bellows beneath its streets. It’s a great place for information, and an even better place for drinks.

After all was said and done, I had adjusted back into a civilian’s life quite well. I went to work in the day as a fraud examiner, and then spent my evenings drinking and listening to the band play. Being a fraud examiner in CI is a cake job, and the Chat Box was an excellent evening getaway.

On this particular evening, I am sitting in my usual booth, getting my order taken by my usual waitress, Pastaa. The night was rather enjoyable. I flirted with some wandering ladies, and drank rather peacefully.

Until Mamkute came in.

We were friendly, Mamkute and I. I never once fought with him, verbally or physically. He was, however, Crazo’s star protégé at a time. And thus a member of the family. He comes into the bar, and asks the bartender if he had seen me. The bartender, Ka, not realizing that his answer would result in a bloody, chaotic gunfight, told him I come by every night, and points toward my booth. I slink beneath my table, but my avatar shows anyway.

BAM. He fires a round from his magnum, obliterating the vinyl seat cushions.

I slide under the table, and come out guns blazing, sliding across the floor and firing my revolver. I nick him in the shoulder, but he is able to dodge most of my bullets. Those stray bullets hit his priceless aged whiskey Ka kept on display. I yell out an apology, but it’s drowned out by gunfire.

And then from literally out of nowhere, Loudclaw appears, totting a rather big Desert Eagle, and fires at Mamkutes, screaming, “I SHALL BE THE GREATEST PHAZON DETECTIVE!!!” He tries to fire one handed, but the recoil is too great and he ends up hitting himself in the face with the gun after he fires. Mamkute swiftly dodges the .44, and then proceeds to shoot Loudclaw’s kneecaps, and then deliver a fatal headshot.

I take this distraction as a chance to escape. I run like mustang in mating season running towards the hottest pony in the field, straight out of the Chat Box and into the alleyway forums. I’m running, when I look behind to see Mamkute slamming himself against the door in hot pursuit. He’s trailing behind me, fast, but I’m faster for once. A fence is before me, and a dumpster adjacent. Like a free-running expert, I jump on to the dumpster, and over the fence, only to land on my face.

He does the same, but slightly more gracefully. Finally, I reach a dead end. He’s about to fire at me, but I duck. His bullet hits a pipe, and a burning haze of steam expels itself from the iron. He comes closer, and fires again. He misses because he has a bad shot, and hits the pipe again. It bursts open, but he’s already in front of it, and I’m already on the ground by the time the burning hot gas is blasting through the alleyway.

His face is singed, and he covers it with his hands as a result. I kick him in the shin, and knock him down. I then bludgeon his head with the butt of my gun, and knock him out. With him out cold, or out burned I should say, I crawl away from the steam, taking his gun and wallet with me. I run, run straight home, and bolt my door shut.

Was I next on the hit list?
Last edited by cinnamonstyx on Mon Sep 17, 2012 7:11 pm, edited 2 times in total.
eboy's seme
User avatar
retrolinkx
Veteran Chaos Chao
Veteran Chaos Chao
Posts: 6323
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2008 5:33 pm
Motto: I can't believe I ate the whole thing.
Contact:

Re: Retro's Detective Agency.

Post by retrolinkx »

Dammit Picka, I have to get to school. Why'd you update on Sunday?
Image
Picka and Fox's Partner, Retro's Legend.
Fox Boy wrote:fusion+pie=fusion pie!
User avatar
SkyGinge
Veteran Chao
Veteran Chao
Posts: 1183
Joined: Tue Aug 21, 2012 2:59 pm
Location: At home, being a lazy little Dingbat

Re: Retro's Detective Agency.

Post by SkyGinge »

Yay! Nice work, everyone. I especially like how you introduced LoudClaw. The ideas and themes of this are amazing. :D
PM me if you have any piece of writing that you want reviewed, I'll do my best to help you out!

Funky stuff:
Jack Augustine
Veteran Chao
Veteran Chao
Posts: 1366
Joined: Sat Feb 18, 2012 1:05 am
Motto: Thunder Fang! See you never.
Location: Behind your monitor, plotting your bans...

Re: Retro's Detective Agency.

Post by Jack Augustine »

Know what, screw it. IF you're going to put me in that way you're all [humans].

It's time to get in my story...

After being hit with Mamkute's gun, I fled the scene, even with my "knees" supposedly being shattered. Luckily, nowadays I always wore leggings to protect my joints. With Me was playing in my head, and I knew I would have to get this group back together, FAST. Not being allowed in the bar, I got out my favorite gun and a few of my clips out of my bag. I would have to run to my hideout to grab my sword later. I ran to Revival headquarters and awaited my girlfriend. As I did, I contemplated on the night's accomplishments. I'd done so much, yet there was so much left to do... Running out to the streets, I went stealthy. I was lip syncing to With Me. It was simply a habit of mine, which I never got caught doing. I crept down the roads to the RP forums. I hoped Zero hadn't been killed...
Last edited by Chaos the Light Chao on Mon Sep 17, 2012 6:06 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Reason: Don't flame.
User avatar
SkyGinge
Veteran Chao
Veteran Chao
Posts: 1183
Joined: Tue Aug 21, 2012 2:59 pm
Location: At home, being a lazy little Dingbat

Re: Retro's Detective Agency.

Post by SkyGinge »

Oh wait, I missed the headshot bit...

In any case, you can hardly blame me. I'm not the one who wrote it.

Anyway, keep up the good work guys! :D
PM me if you have any piece of writing that you want reviewed, I'll do my best to help you out!

Funky stuff:
User avatar
cinnamonstyx
Veteran Chao
Veteran Chao
Posts: 1571
Joined: Fri Aug 05, 2011 2:56 am

Re: Retro's Detective Agency.

Post by cinnamonstyx »

There's a couple of... inconsistencies with your supposed... installation.

1.) You were never a part of the group.
2.) No woman would ever want you, even imaginary ones.
3.) It's far shorter than anything any of us have done, and therefore can't be considered a chapter.
4.) You're dead. Notice "fatal headshot".
5.) You've already been a key figure. You were instrumental to my survival.
6.) You've done nothing other than die, so there's been no accomplishments.
7.) There are no swords in virtual detective neo-noire stories.
8.) There is no Revival Headquarters, that doesn't even make sense.
9.) You were hit with your own gun, and killed with Mamkute's.
10.) You're dead. I might've mentioned this before, but I feel you've yet to realize this.

I suggest if you really wanna make something detective related, go make your own topic. Preferably in Stories and Fanfics, because no one ever goes there, except maybe AB. And I'm just gonna assume AB is no fan of yours.

Also, Retro, sorry.
eboy's seme
Crash32
Master Chaos Chao
Master Chaos Chao
Posts: 5089
Joined: Tue Mar 29, 2011 8:19 am
Motto: <- Probably a reference to The Simpsons
Location: This is Tumblr, right? No pls don't be offended b-baka!!
Contact:

Re: Retro's Detective Agency.

Post by Crash32 »

That part with Loudclaw. Pure brilliance.
Sig quoted. Chopped up to fit, but sig quoted :D
User avatar
Lamby
Chaos Chao
Chaos Chao
Posts: 2228
Joined: Sun Mar 11, 2012 5:38 pm
Motto: running this block, running the chain gang
Location: 9th circle
Contact:

Re: Retro's Detective Agency.

Post by Lamby »

TechnoGeisha wrote:And I'm just gonna assume AB is no fan of yours.
You assume correctly. I liked Mamkute's entrance, by the way.

Also,
TechnoGeisha wrote:I slink beneath my table, but my avatar shows anyway.
I like how you tie in forum devices with reality. Obviously, I especially liked this line. When I read it with a certain inflection it makes for nice, subtle comic relief.
Image
"Oh baby won't you stop it/you and I haven't got it
Television romance "
Chaos the Light Chao
Shining Chaos Chao
Shining Chaos Chao
Posts: 2750
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 1:07 am
Location: Nort Southh's Asylum for the Sane

Re: Retro's Detective Agency.

Post by Chaos the Light Chao »

To Great we go!
To Great we go!
Where is Great?
We'll never know!

But no mystery is too great for me
And nothing will ever stop we
the Retro Detective Agency!

I'm quite curious to see
If Great is over land
Or across the sea?
But nevertheless you will see,
it will be quite incredibly grand!

The mystery of its location won't be put to rest
we shall surely past the test
as we are indubitably the best!

Where are we to go?
To Great!
TechnoGeisha wrote:but the recoil is to great and he ends up
Yeah that typo really bugged me for some reason. I had to make a song about it.
User avatar
SkyGinge
Veteran Chao
Veteran Chao
Posts: 1183
Joined: Tue Aug 21, 2012 2:59 pm
Location: At home, being a lazy little Dingbat

Re: Retro's Detective Agency.

Post by SkyGinge »

^Chaos, you living legend! :'D
PM me if you have any piece of writing that you want reviewed, I'll do my best to help you out!

Funky stuff:
User avatar
cinnamonstyx
Veteran Chao
Veteran Chao
Posts: 1571
Joined: Fri Aug 05, 2011 2:56 am

Re: Retro's Detective Agency.

Post by cinnamonstyx »

i don't even know what to say about that harry
other then you have no proof
and why why why did you move this
is this some kind of sick, ironic joke?
i hate you.
eboy's seme
User avatar
Flame
Expert Chaos Chao
Expert Chaos Chao
Posts: 4055
Joined: Thu Oct 02, 2008 3:44 pm
Motto: You sound like lines from a self-help book!
Location: The Hill of Honey
Contact:

Re: Retro's Detective Agency.

Post by Flame »

Hahahahahaha, Phazon Detective.

You know, I love the tension between Fox, Retro and yourself, Techno. Makes for exciting story parts.

And ROFL, Chaos.
User avatar
retrolinkx
Veteran Chaos Chao
Veteran Chaos Chao
Posts: 6323
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2008 5:33 pm
Motto: I can't believe I ate the whole thing.
Contact:

Re: Retro's Detective Agency.

Post by retrolinkx »

...this was moved to Stories and Fan-Fic...

I hate you, Moderator.
Image
Picka and Fox's Partner, Retro's Legend.
Fox Boy wrote:fusion+pie=fusion pie!
User avatar
Nano
Legendary Chaos Chao
Legendary Chaos Chao
Posts: 12256
Joined: Sat Jan 17, 2009 5:50 am
Motto: My kickstarter failed, but that's okay!
Location: Union of Chaoviet Socialist Republics

Re: Retro's Detective Agency.

Post by Nano »

I'll write this tomorrow cause it's my bedtime.

Woo.
User avatar
Nano
Legendary Chaos Chao
Legendary Chaos Chao
Posts: 12256
Joined: Sat Jan 17, 2009 5:50 am
Motto: My kickstarter failed, but that's okay!
Location: Union of Chaoviet Socialist Republics

Re: Retro's Detective Agency.

Post by Nano »

Two weeks already huh? Been a while, better turn on my jazz.

Kidding of course, my jazz is always on. It had been a pretty fast two weeks, nothing but paperwork and filing. It was the usual and that was all. Perhaps it was due to the monotonous work of it all, maybe the fact I had pulled a gun on my friend in a fit of rage, but I was pretty depressed. Scratch that, I was down so deep in the dumps I was finding gods trash bags. In any case, the work kept my mind of my problems so I simply stuck to that. Now though... What about now? Things were simmering, users were going back to the daily lives after the death of RS, mods were going back to doing nothing.

It was so boring, my god could someone just pull a gun on me?

Maybe that would get some blood pumping again. Or get me killed, either way. It was about mid-afternoon now by the looks of outside, me standing in the window overlooking the forums. I could almost see the old Agency topic from here...

Eugh, lets brush those thoughts out of here, time to get back to work. It wasn't until I turned around that I realized I had filed all my papers. That was why I was standing at my window after all. Damn, nothing to do now but-

~Click~

The door to my office swung open and a single user stepped into my office. A client huh? Guess that's a lucky break here. I motioned for them to take a seat... however they declined and instead stared me down. This person... they looked familiar. A distant face in a small forum, kinda interesting to say the least. My oak desk was clean of all papers and what remained was just my computer and an ashtray. Pretty simple really, I can't say I don't love the feeling of a clean and simple work environment.

Christ where was I? Oh yeah, the client. Looked pretty young, from what I could see on their face. It was actually really tough to see them... They had a scarf on and sunglasses, making it impossible to determine an age. They were either really flat or a guy. I'd rather not make the mistake so I began with, "Good evening, coffee?" Could never go wrong with that line.

Scratch that, apparently it could because they pulled a gun on me.

A revolver about .38 caliber? Ah who cares, now was not the time. I dropped the the floor like a rock, nearly getting hit. On my stomach I quickly tackled the oak desk, much to the protest of my arm which was probably going to break if it wasn't already broken from pushing it, pushing it into the user and pinning them on the door and wall. From there I had to analyze the situation. One gunner, no escape, possible death. Maybe I could stick here? ****! A bullet rained down on him, nearly passing his skull but instead settling for a narrow miss. I needed out of here, FAST.

Hurling myself out of the desk cover I made a break for the window. There was a fire escape I could climb down and begin my decent into safety. The user had raised the gun and was prepared to fire when...

*Click!*

The gun jammed! My god, Jesus almighty, the thing jammed! Perhaps lady luck was in my favor today. I jumped out the window, glass shards tearing my suit and skin, and landed on the fire escape. I had began my decent into the streets below when I heard a massive crash and shards of glass being broken. Looks like they were on my tail and I was only just outta the fence. The hell was I saying anyhow? Christ! Another shot had barely missed my bobbing head! Whoever this was they were one damn good shot. I slid down the ladder and was immediately met with a car filled with two users coming right at me.

James Bond would've been proud as I ran at the car, full speed ahead of course, and jumped onto it, running along it like a treadmill, before jumping back to the ground and beginning my running away once more. I could hear the wheels screech and yet again another car blocked my path. I was surrounded, and the two new users coming out had tommy guns at the ready. Was I going to die?...

Never!

Quick instinct got me behind cover before the fire came down on me. The stench of that dumpster was terrible, but I quickly hatched my plan and set it into motion. I took off my suit's jacket part to start and pulled out my own .38 Detective Revolver. Good thing I kept this thing. Next, I had to hope to god this worked, I threw my jacket into the rain of fire.

The two blundering idiots thought it was me and began to draw their fire away, leaving me to finish my plan with a simple rise from cover and popping two caps in their sorry asses. Their bodies stiffened and fell, leaving me to celebrate. However, now was not the time. I needed to run, and fast. The car was blocking the alley, so the other two users coming after me would have a hard time getting on my case. The mystery user who ambushed me though... where were they?

Looking back I saw them, climbing down the ladder and nearly towards the end. Now was the time to tie a lose end. I raised my gun, took aim, and-

Their hat flew off, exposing long brown hair and the scarf slipping from their mouth. They stepped to the ground and took off the sunglasses that shielded the eyes of...

"Renae?..." my gun lowered as I stared at her. It had been months since I last talked to her, last seen her in fact. There had been a fight, she had made her choices and didn't need me around anymore. We parted our separate ways and I thought she was gone and out of my life. I was so stunned to see her, I nearly didn't dodge when she pointed her gun to shoot at me again. Quickly, I ran towards the parked car and slid across the hood, running down the street. I needed someplace safe to hide before I was killed, and I had nowhere to go.

I was a marked target on a hit list by the looks of it, and now Retro and Picka are probably in danger too! I needed to contact them fast.

Dodging and weaving through alley after alley, I finally stopped when I thought I had gained enough distance from my office. A Pm Booth was located outside a nearby "Favorite Food?" topic and I took my chance to make a call to Retro. "Come on... Pick up... Pick uppp..."
Last edited by Nano on Fri Jun 07, 2013 4:20 am, edited 2 times in total.
User avatar
Pastaa~Chao
Proficient Chao
Proficient Chao
Posts: 346
Joined: Fri Jul 30, 2010 11:22 pm
Contact:

Re: Retro's Detective Agency.

Post by Pastaa~Chao »

This story only gets better and better. Please continue to write this wonderful story.
Chao Island Roleplay: Rebirth: "I speak with the tones of shadowed viridian (#00BF8F)..."
Locked