Chapter One:
Once upon a time, there was a man named Pootersman. He had a fetish for dung and everything dung related. It was probably inspired by his name. His friends teased him continuously for collecting dung, calling him names such as McPoopy head and Sir Fecal. So he killed them. Why do you need friends when you have dung to keep you company, anyways?
However, Pootersman collection of dung was not complete. He was only missing one item, the rarest and hardest to find item of all; Rainbow Essence of Unicorn Dung. Legend claimed that this essence was made only once every 1000 years when the great Magical Rainbow Unicorn came to, well, do it's business on Earth. (Why would you want to defile a magical land of mythical creatures with your poo?)
He decided that he would set out on a quest to find that poop. He knew it would be a tough and long journey, and that he would need to acquire a lot of dinero in order to fund this trip. So, he decided to sell his home and put his entire dung collection into a small backpack he "got" from a young kid that had a yellow rat hitching a ride on his shoulder. Somehow, it all fit into the bag and still had plenty of room for more! He decided that he would patent this bag later on for profit.
Pootersman decided to start his journey in his home town: Chakkalakka Village. He knew that there was a wise geezer by the name of Lindseria that knew almost anything that anyone needed to know. He proceeded to her hut, only to get barked at by her pet dog, Dawgeron. And by bark, I really mean curse out Pootersman. Yeah, Dawgeron knew how to talk, and had a reputation for being the biggest pooty mouth in the village. Pirates that met the dog reported learning new curse words that they had never heard of before. that's how big his vocabulary was. Pootersman ignored the dog and entered the hut, seeing the shriveled figure of Lindseria crouched behind a fire. "What is that you seek, child?" the old woman croaked.
"Well," Pootersman started, "I was hoping you could point out the way to anywhere I can obtain a Rainbow Essence of Unicorn Dung. Might you be able to help me?"
"Hmmm..." Lindseria muttered, rubbing her wrinkly chin, "Maybe I can, but what's in it for me?"
"I'll give you 50 jadens." (People in the world Pooterman lives in use beetles and scarabs as currency. Jadens are one of the higher valued scarabs that they use.)
"Sold." The old lady greedily snatched the money from his hand and opened a pouch of skin on her tummy and dumped her in. No one knows why she has a pouch, but she does. It also seems to be like Pootersman's bag in which space within it is infinite. "I see... a colorful pastel forest... made of cotton candy trees with roads lined with gumdrops. Here is where you'll start your journey to find the item you seek." And with that, Lindseria fell into a deep slumber.
"Uh, ok, thank you." said Pootersman. Before he was about to leave though, Lindseria quickly woke up and shouted, "Take my pet, Dawgeron with you. He will be of great asset to you... SNORT." She was asleep once again.
"Ugh, I don't wanna take that mutt with me..." whined Pootersman, "All he does is curse and smell bad."
"HEY, I HEARD THAT YOU ******* PIECE OF ****." yelped Dawgeron. "I'M NOT TOO HAPPY EITHER THAT MY OWNER IS ******* MAKING ME GO WITH YOU EITHER SO SHUT THE **** UP."
"Let's just go, mutt."